There is a reason why cheerleading is such an integral part of our culture. Everyone needs a good cheerleader, a diehard fan, and avid supporter — not just professional sports teams. Cheerleaders are there for support and celebration when we win, and consoling words of encouragement when we lose.


But what happens when you can’t make a decision at work without that constant cheerleader? What happens when you don’t hear “job well done” — is it still a “job well done”? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?


Many women are addicted to affirmation and are easily influenced by the opinions and actions of others. Let’s be honest, we love to hear rave reviews. That type of reaction makes us feel really good about the decisions we’ve made and who we are. It reinforces the fact that we’re on the right track.


However, the opposite is also true. If we hear any negative or critical feedback, we have a tendency to second-guess ourselves and question our own judgment. Some women are so addicted to affirmation that they struggle to perform their professional responsibilities without ongoing positive feedback — in other words, without their own personal cheerleader.


For many women, their own personal cheerleader is their BFF (best friend forever). This is the person you can rely on to always support you, lift you up, make you laugh, tell you the truth, and enrich your life. This is the unwritten contract that exists between best friends and gives the relationship so much meaning and enduring strength.


Recognizing the power and these relationships, and knowing how important external validation and support are, what happens if you don’t work with your BFF? It’s time to pull on those “big-girl panties” and become your own BFF at work. Paying too much attention, and placing too much importance and emphasis on others’ affirmations, can kill your career. Woman UP! and be your own BFF.


The following 10 qualities of your best friend will prove why becoming your own BFF at work is the greatest gift you can give yourself. They are written from my experience as a successful career coach and shared in my book, Woman UP! Overcome the 7 Deadly Sins that Sabotage Your Success.


 1. She is your greatest cheerleader.
 2. She always sees and brings out the best in you.
 3. She is honest and forgiving.
 4. She is brave when you are scared.
 5. She is strong when you are weak.
 6. She is the voice of reason when you feel crazy.
 7. She makes you laugh when all you want to do is cry.
 8. She knows you’re not perfect and loves you even more.
 9. She will celebrate and remind you of your successes.
10. She will defend you until the end.
 

Wanting the best for your BFF is natural. Being your own BFF sometimes is not. However, if you commit to being as good to yourself as you are to your best friend, then you’ll both have a lot to celebrate. Be your own cheerleader, be your own BFF, and tell yourself to Woman UP!
 

About the Author
Aimee Cohen is a career expert, keynote speaker, and bestselling author of Woman UP! Overcome the 7 Deadly Sins that Sabotage Your Success. For more than 20 years, and a nearly 100% success rate, Aimee has empowered women to pull on those “big-girl panties” and take control of their careers.